To Paraphrase

I had a really hard time with Perspective last week.  A really, really tough time.  Despite my effort to retain a healthy positive outlook, I fell victim to other’s perspectives and the collective weight of their significance took it’s toll on my spirit.  To paraphrase; Peeps talkin’ smack totally bummed me out.  

I’m once again discovering that some things in life are not about effort, hard work, will or intention. Surprise surprise, life isn’t fair.  It’s sad to say that my chosen method of sustained learning such novel concepts is by repeating ineffective methodologies and actions until the point of pure exhaustion and self-imposed misery.  To paraphrase;  I like to beat my head against the wall.  

Perspective is a compendium of personal learnings that grows with years of experience, a collection of trial and error, the literal sum of our parts.  Every action and interaction in our lives help develop how we react, internalize, emote and respond to situations.  Cognitive psychology 101.  To paraphrase:  I learned some stuff in 4 decades on the planet.  

Last week was a barrage of many external perspectives pecking away at my psyche.  Rejection, criticism, resentment, spite. Ick. Normally I deal with this in a moderately mature way so that it doesn’t affect me so deeply.  Normally I soak in the information, process, analyze, hypothesize, clean, organize and draw one of two conclusions:  #1;  ‘Huh. Wow.  Okay, that was useful, I’ll learn from that’ or #2;  ‘Pfft, bullshit!’ and move on.  Normally.  But last week, I was convinced I was somehow responsible for all those individual perspectives and I should do everything in my power to bring them more in-line with my own Perspective.  To paraphrase:  I was right and they needed to know they were wrong.  

Ever try to change someone’s perspective?  I’m not talking an over-a-beer-Mac-vs-PC kinda discussion, I mean someone’s hard-wired, entrenched belief; their ‘core’; the pure essence of how they function.  Well, let me save you some time: It can never be changed.  Ever. The pure irony is we humans are conditioned to repeatedly try to convince another to see the world through our own lens.  We all do it!  All the time!   The best you can do with another’s perspective is challenge it, shake it, throw a scrap or two of new information at it’s feet and hope it will nibble and ponder.  To paraphrase:  Even if you’re right, they don’t care.  

So after all my worry, analysis, lost sleep, teeth grinding, frustration, writing, rewriting, reflection and general wasted energy, I came right back to the start, my own brow-beaten, sad lookin’ Perspective.  What my lonely Perspective needed was her buddy Empowerment to point out a new view.  Ah, Empowerment is such an awesome friend; the first to tell you how able you are to take on the world, to succeed, to never take ‘NO’ for an answer!  But Wow! Does Empowerment ever scare easily.  At the first sign of trouble, good ol’ Empowerment started to sweat, and panic and next thing you know it, poor Perspective was thrown right under the bus while Empowerment fled the scene and hid.  

For days Empowerment stayed hidden; not a peep, not a sound, wide-eyed and pensive in the dark I suspect.  It’s most likely she was scared to be found and didn’t want to face the hard work required to back up all the smack she was talking.  But eventually, tired of hiding, hungry and missing companionship, Empowerment was enticed out of hiding with chocolate, a sappy chick flick and copious amounts of wine.  Before I knew it, Empowerment was back on the job, standing right next to Perspective.  To paraphrase:  Feck ‘em.  You can’t keep a good woman down.