January: Get the Manor and Temple in Order: Okay, Manor First

I’m not one for resolutions, or rather, keeping them. I’m far too big of a fan of quitting. I quit smoking, a job (or two), diets, saving plans and even a marriage.  I am so very good at quitting.  The saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”, is a personal mantra.  Don’t get me wrong, I am fine upstanding citizen who pays her bills, gets her teeth cleaned religiously every 6 months and I even file my taxes on time.  Though, I may be confusing my slight OCD with actual follow through....

But, sometimes your soul stirs in a way that you can’t ignore.  It’s kinda like that moment when you favourite pair of ‘hot jeans’ turns into your ‘someday’ skinny jeans.  Change is required.  If you’re like me, it’s the question of ‘where to start?’ once you’ve sorely neglected all the things you were supposed to be taking care of. 

For me a great starting place for any large project is and always has been cleaning.  I love cleaning.  It’s therapeutic. I get lost in the dusting, sorting, sweeping, sanitizing, fluffing/folding goodness of it all.  I get a huge sense of satisfaction seeing everything all sparkly and orderly.  I live with a small tornado who is also a collector of ‘fine things’, so this evolution always takes place while she is with her dad.  Her absence allows for the greatest effect of order and sparkly and a moderate amount of sustainability.  While I conduct my cleaning frenzy, I drink coffee.  I play my music too loud.  I wear a different hat for each floor I clean.  I sing (terribly). I break into spontaneous dance.  It. Is. An. Event.  

This past cleaning extravaganza had new purpose.  As part of my new-found inspiration, I planned on upping the ante:  Purge yer shit. I, was ‘gonna lay some Feng Shui on GGM’.  Feng Shui, the Chinese philosophy or ‘ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positive qi’. Now, I didn’t know if I would improve my ‘qi’, of if I’d even locate it.  But I was determined; after all, I was a purging, cleaning, sorting machine and it was time to let go of things that served no purpose, expired, made me look fat or old or just plain had their day in the sun and needed to go.  I started where most of us start and quite frankly fear; the closet.  

I am fortunate at GGM, I have a ‘dressing room’ - a bonde fide walk in closet, with a window and everything.  It’s a haven; it houses my clothes, my beloved shoes, Santa presents (seasonly only), and where I hide for my time outs. Oh a walk in closet is a fine place;  until you have to purge it.  Now my dressing room isn’t in bad shape.  I’m not a hoarder of things usually, unless of course I’ve justified their continued residence.  So I did have a few things that desperately needed to go:  1.  The beautiful Anne Klein suit whose pant waist ended tragically directly underneath my boobs, 2. The lime green brushed wool suit jacket (in my defense, it was on sale) and 3. Two pairs of shoes that my grandmother would have found too frumpy.  And finally, 4. The box of wedding pictures that I had in my closet.  

Make no mistake, I have absolutely no regrets ending my marriage.  I think I placed this box of memorabilia there in my closet because it’s steeped with value. It’s a box of pictures that reminded me of the values I hold dear; commitment, trust, partnership, family, love.  As I flipped through the pictures, I stared at the young girl looking back at me; uncertain, confused, lost, trying her best to follow through on her ‘resolutions’.  After a few moments of nostalgia, I gently put the lid on the box of pictures and added them to pile destined for the basement.  As I did, I could feel the space being created there in my dressing room, a lightness; qi. I was hooked.  

That positive energy followed me from room to room;  tossing, sorting, recycling, donating...I was a purging machine. 

Then I hit the monkey’s room.

Momentum was lost.  Hope, abandoned.  As with many machines, it was time to shut down operations, close shop,  pour a glass of wine and quit for the night.  

I’d resume the search for ‘sparkly and orderly’ in the morning.