What's in a Name?

January is the month I’ve determined from my Big Scary List should be the beginning of things, a genesis, dedicated to getting the Manor and the Temple in order.  Empowered from the purge extravaganza at the Manor a few weeks back, I maintained good momentum with applying the ‘orderly and shiny’ philosophy to other parts of my life.  I organized my email accounts (a painful and extremely complicated process which forced me into my dressing room to let out a primal scream of frustration), I launched the blog (Ta Da!) and I tackled another scary adult truth, focusing on my financial future.  

I think it’s natural after the holidays, when your MasterCard and Visa are curled up in a fetal position panting and trying to draw one last breath, for most of us to re-evaluate our finances for the year to come.  But for me, it was more of a ‘naked truth’ moment where I had an ideal in my head about what my future should look like and I wanted to be sure I was on track to achieve it.

I have come to accept, quite comfortably now, that there is but one of me to take care of the Manor’s inhabitants’ future.  Reluctantly, I’ve let go of the fantasy that George Clooney would sweep into GGM and say:  “Just grab your toothbrush sweetheart’, we’ll buy you all new stuff. Come, let’s go to the Villa”.  (sigh). With that dream dashed on the rocks, serious short, middle and long range planning was required and it was time to tweak the plan.  I love it when the fear of the unknown is actually worse than reality.  Mercifully, I was pleasantly surprised.  At some point I had been grown up enough to listen to really smart people about my future and found myself in good financial shape.  I just had to ‘stick to the plan’.  And now I have a really cool app to help me with that.  Apparently, finance can be fun....

I could feel the Qi starting to seep into the Manor and even a little into the Temple.  Purge? Check.  Blog?  Check.  Emails...(shudder)...Check. Financial Future? Checkity check check.  But before I launched into Phase II, the Temple, there was one more task to be ticked off the list; my name.

I have a long name, or rather names.  I have a first, middle and two last names.  Three I’ve had for 40 years and one I’ve had for 10.  More precisely, the second last name I’ve had twice as long as entire length of my marriage.  I kept it after the divorce for the monkey’s sake, it was just easier for us to sport the same name.  Then, it was complacency (after all, I had emails set up with that name, and business cards and all my ‘stuff‘).  Finally, I had to admit that it was just pure laziness why I had kept it.  After all, who wants to spend an afternoon at Access NS to pay to have it removed?  But it was time. It had to go.

I decided to look at this as a great opportunity to reinvent myself; did I want a brand new last name?  Ooooo....I could change it entirely, have a really cool last name, like Clooney or Palin (he he) or Mayer....OR I could go to just one name, like Cher or Madonna or Elmo. THAT could be cool too. (Okay, Elmo wouldn’t be cool, but I’m making a point).   After all, I wasn’t the same person I was 10 years ago and I certainly wasn’t a Mrs. anymore.  So who am I?  Wow.  I wasn’t nearly ready to be asking or answering that question so soon on my journey.  What I did know is that we put a lot of emphasis on defining who we are by our names, our professions, or our titles.  Those labels don’t always provide clarity and more often restrict us or tie us to limits.  I knew I was seeking Qi; space.  Space to recreate, energy to be.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

So, I’m going back to my Genesis, my birth name.  I’m convinced I'll be much more gratified by how I make myself and others feel than any name I carry.  I am, after all, just me.